Who to Invite to a Bridal Shower
The bridal shower is a celebration before the big celebration. It’s a day to get together with friends and family, play games, and walk away with a few items crossed off your registry.
But, deciding who to invite to a bridal shower can be a challenge. You want enough people there that it feels like a party, but not so much that you end up inviting all your wedding guests.
Whether you’re planning for your own shower or throwing one for a bride-to-be, here are some tips to decide who to invite to the bridal shower.
[H2] The quick bridal shower invitation list
Immediate family of the bride. The mother(s), sisters and grandmothers of the bride should be the first people on the invite list.
Immediate family of the groom. It’s a must to have the mother-in-law invited to the event, and you should probably invite the groom’s sisters and his grandmothers as well.
Members of the bridal party. Of course the maid of honor and bridesmaids should be at the shower! In fact, it’s common for one of them to help arrange the shower if the bride’s mother and sisters do not.
Long-time family friends. Old neighbors, teachers, and friends of the bride’s parents are always happy to see the bride all grown up (and remind them of how they used to babysit her and change their diapers). Plus, these guests tend to bring the best gifts!
The mother-in-law’s close friends. One way to include the mother-in-law is to have her invite a few of her close friends.
Close friends of the bride. This could include coworkers, college friends, childhood friends or any other close friends the bride wants there.
Close female friends of the groom. If the groom has any female friends that he’s close with, it’s best to add them to the shower list as well.
Extended family who live closeby. Aunts and cousins on the bride’s or groom’s side who live in the area may want to stop by to show their love and support.
Tips for picking who should come (and who shouldn’t come)
Not all wedding guests should be bridal shower guests, but it’s standard that all shower guests also get an invitation to the big day. When writing the list for the shower, it may be a good idea to check it against the wedding list to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.
This is also a great way to make sure there is no one at the shower that the bride doesn’t want to see. Even though there’s an expectation of who should be at the bridal shower, everyone’s situation is different. The bride may not want an estranged family member there, even if they are part of her immediate family.
If you’re planning a bridal shower for the bride, ask her if there is anyone that shouldn’t be on the list, just to be sure.
Does the groom need to be at the bridal shower?
The short answer is no. Traditionally, bridal showers have been reserved for all female guests, which means no groom. But, more and more, women are inviting their future husbands to the end of their shower so he can join in on opening gifts or the fun and games.
Discuss this option with your partner ahead of time to see if you both want this option. If so, he may also want some of his groomsmen to join the party.
Decide what type of shower you want
The traditional bridal shower includes lunch or finger food, some games about the bride and groom, and the opening of gifts. It’s also typical to have only female guests at the event. But, there’s no written rule that you have to throw a bridal shower like this.
You may want to throw a co-ed shower where the groom and your male family and friends can attend. Or, you may want to throw out all the rules and have a big pool party with your closest family and friends. Your bridal shower can be whatever you want it to be.
Alternative bridal shower ideas
Take a class. Painting, calligraphy, floral arrangement or cooking classes can be a unique way to gather family and friends — and everyone walks away with a new skill or piece of art!
Go outdoors. The nature-lovers out there know that a forest picnic or a beach bonfire can bring people together, and it can take the stress off of finding a place to host the event.
Wine tasting. Walking around a vineyard and sipping wine could be a great alternative if you want a small, intimate shower.
Relax and unwind. Yoga or a meditation circle can help the bride — and everyone else — breathe and relax so they leave feeling refreshes.
Karaoke night. Want a non-traditional shower? You can never go wrong with belting it out with close friends and family.
BBQ or dinner. A BBQ or big dinner can help take the spotlight off the bride-to-be, and it’s a lot easier for kids to attend if you want to have little ones there.
Decide how many showers you want
In an effort to keep bridal shower invitees to a minimum, some ladies are choosing to have multiple bridal showers with different groups. They may have one that’s just with their family, another that’s just with the groom’s family, and a third that’s only with their nearest and dearest friends.
This can be a good idea if you want to keep different friend groups separate. It may feel awkward to have your besties at the same party as your old ballet teacher, for example. Plus, you can have different types of showers for each of the groups.
Ultimately, you can have as many showers as you want, but remember that each one takes time and planning. You may not want to be attending showers four weekends in a row.
For those who want to stick with the one-and-done bridal shower, it can be complicated if multiple people approach you asking to throw you a shower. Don’t feel bad telling those people no or asking if they want to be a co-host with another family member or friend. The shower is your party, so you get a say in how it’s run.
Choose the type of shower you want — and how many you want — and then write up that guest list. Remember, not everyone needs to be invited. This is a day to celebrate the bride-to-be, and she decides who she wants to celebrate with.
